August 200328 August 2003
One of the folks who wrote Bat Boy: The
Musical has come up with a new one-act play called Fair
& Balanced. It features a violent and abusive character
named Bill O'Reilly who regularly snaps "Shut up!" at the
other characters. You can buy it as a PDF for $5.00, but the free
excerpt indicates that the concept is funnier than the actual
script. We received an email invitation at work to "meet
1000s of girls in your area who want to fuck you." We'd like to
remind all those girls that September is Library Card Sign-Up
Month. So,
come on by next week. Bring proof of your current address. Dark
chocolate is good for you. Dark chocolate is good for you. Dark
chocolate is good for you. Dark chocolate is good for you. Ommmmmmm ... More Lib.Sig-gery,
gleaned from our hours watching cartoons on cable:
"He bought you a used book? What
kind of boyfriend is he?" (Quinn, on Daria)
"And you ... you should all be home reading
a good book!" (Cat, on CatDog) 25 August 2003
It's probably for the best that the judge tossed
out Fox News' fair and balanced request for an injunction against Al Franken's book
last week, since the title of Bill
O'Reilly's new one is the trademarked slogan of a personal
security company.
The Daily Show rerun during the dinner hour today had a library-related quickie,
related to Unabomber Ted Kaczinsky wanting the Feds to ship his stuff to
the library with the largest anarchy collection in the country.
Jon Stewart said something like, "I've been there, and it's
impossible to find anything!" (As a picture of a library
with stuff all over the floor was shown in the background.)
Are the computer users in your library stupid? Really
stupid? Really, really stupid? You
need this.
We never get enough of intentionally
funny error pages.
Steven
said we should add this to Lib.Sigs.,
so we did:
"Like a librarian in borrowed leather pants, the city seemed to
say, 'I just don't know if it's me.'" The Oregonian
(Editorial,
19 August 2003)
Other folks have also been suggesting quotations ...
"You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for $1.50
in late fees at the public library." Good Will Hunting
(Submitted by Jennifer Richard)
"Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These
are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green
earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth
breather there is." Garrison Keillor (Submitted by Kathy)
"So you shall keep knowledge in its place, where it may rest --
where it may gather its kind around it and breed." Bram
Stoker (Submitted by Trey Bunn)
"I just knew I wanted to be respected. I wanted to be good at
sport. I wanted to be pretty. I wanted to be head librarian."
Lucy Lawless (Seen on the Library Underground mailing list) 06 August 2003
We think it would be horrible, just horrible, if
everyone were to start posting pointless and off-topic comments to one
of Don Saklad's Guide
to Problematical Library Use blogs. Like talking
about desserts, for instance. This looks like a secondary blog,
though; his main one unfortunately requires posters to actually give
him a valid email address! You've probably read about the Librarian Action Figure,
but have you seen its
page at Archie McFee, the company that'll be selling it? Looks like
someone at McPhee visited us, because the sidebar has a bunch of quotes
from Lib.Sigs.
Excellent photos of the doll and of its model. Entertaining Slate piece about grammatical
errors in the 15th edition of the Chicago Manual of Style. "Terror
in the Stacks" poster -- PATRIOT Act satire. 05 August 2003
"Closed
on Sunday" -- 3:19 of Hell for your ears, by Blood Red Ink. New
in BibDitties. Anyone know whether any filtering software
mistakenly blocks the Mr.
Brain's Pork Faggots site? We saw the MPAA's piracy-is-bad
ad on TV last week. Looks like they're trying to get us to believe
that the set carpenter and makeup artist each get a percentage of the
take from video rentals. So we s'pose that libraries are taking food out of their mouths, too. Congrats to Unshelved's
Bill Barnes and his family, which is now one beautiful little girl
bigger!
|
Copyright 2003 Brian Smith. Non-commercial distribution of material from The Laughing Librarian is permitted only if the original URL and this copyright notice is included. All commercial distribution is prohibited without written consent of and large cash payments to the author. Some images are from a commercial clipart package and may not be redistributed.