Blog Archives

We're all done with our Christmas shopping, but maybe you're not finished with yours. If you're having trouble picking the perfect gift, take a look at these ideas ...

Pooping Santa Candy Dispenser. One of these belongs on every youth services desk. Think of the joy it'll bring to the children. The children ... Oh, the children!

Mackris v. O'Reilly Oratorio on CD. For the classical music lover who just can't hear the word "loofa" enough, lyrics from filings in the settled sexual harassment suit against Bill O'Reilly. (Excerpt from a concert performance of the work on YouTube.) BTW, we don't see any holdings for this in WorldCat ... If a library did own it, would it go in gov docs?

Giant Plush Microbes. Give someone you love the clap for Christmas.

Rex Libris Statue. Or maybe a Jesus on a Motorcycle Statue instead. Or maybe your own custom bobble-head on a motorcycle.

USB Kitty. "Meows, hisses, and sings melodies." Has infrared sensors, but no death-beam laser eyes.

Orcish Librarian Card. We're pretty sure you know someone who'd think one of these Magic: The Gathering cards in a frame would be cool.

Jolly Roger Doormat. If sharing is stealing, librarians are pirates.

Book Rack Potty Chair. Everything to prepare a kid for a lifetime of bathroom reading. For those already potty-trained, there's alway a magazine rack/tissue holder.

Librarian's Night Before Christmas. We admit, we haven't read this, and the SLJ review isn't great. But it's hard to resist the lines: "For the book-budget cutters, Old Claus had no plan,/'Cause if they could read, they just read Ayn Rand."

Avenging Unicorn Play Set. This'll teach 'em to laugh at Charlie.

Illustrated Librarian Temporary Tattoos. Also: Geek Temp Tats.

Cumming: the Fragrance. Actor and - more important to us - novelist (Tommy's Tale) Alan Cumming has a line of products for men. The collection includes body lotion ("Cumming All Over") and soap ("Cumming in a Bar").

Dorothy Parker Martini Glasses. Or maybe Great Thinkers Shot Glasses are what your poison requires. Either way, hiding a bottle in a desk drawer at work is for amateurs; folks can use the Good Book flask instead.

Book Safe. If one needs to hide something other than a hip flask.

Shelves Made of Books. To display things which can be left out in the open. (Made from books grown in the artist's own orchard!)

Book Bags. Not totes for carrying books; purses made from hardcovers.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Car Emblem. Let your friends and family be touched by His Noodly Appendage guide as they drive. Lots of other FSM merch also available.

Rubber Maggots. Four dozen in a package! They glow in the dark!

I > U Shirt. You know the self esteem/image problem that librarians have? When you give one of these shirts, you're really saying I < U. ('Cuz the recipient will be wearing it, see?)

And you could always buy stuff from our Cafe Shop, too.