Story 3: Aesop's Party Jokes

(Adapted from Aesop's Fables.)

1. This extremely foolish girl hears her mom praying and praying all the time for the gods to put some sense into her. One day, this girl's wandering around the fields by their farm, and she sees a guy screwing a donkey. "What in the world are you doing?" she asks.
   
   "Uhhh, I'm putting some sense into this beast," the guy says. Remembering her mom's prayers, the girl says, "Ooh, ooh, put some sense into me, too!"
   
   So the guy fucks the girl, and she runs home shouting, "Mom! I've got some sense in me now!" The girl's mom says, "Hallelujah, my prayers have been answered! So, how did you get sense put into you?"
   
   "Oh, mom, a man put sense into me with a hard, long, red thing that he pushed in and out and in and out."
   
   "Honey," the mom says, "not only do you still need some sense, but you've lost whatever sense you had in the first place!"

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2. This farmer has a flock of sheep that all give birth to lambs with human heads. The farmer thinks this is some real bad mojo, so he goes to see some fortune-tellers. One fortune-teller says the lambs with human heads are a sign that some life-or-death situation's coming up for the farmer, because he's the "head" of his household. Another fortune-teller says the lambs are really a sign that the farmer's wife is cheating on him.
   
   They argue back and forth, and other people throw in their two cents, and the farmer just gets more and more freaked out about these lambs with the human heads. Finally, Aesop walks by and hears the commotion. "Enough of this bullshit," Aesop says to the farmer. "What you need is to get your shepherds some women!"

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3. This guy's walking on a really hot day, and he passes this old woman. She's visibly exhausted from the heat and the walk, so the guy offers to carry her the rest of the way. He picks her up and puts her on his shoulders, and as he's walking, she's going bounce, bounce, bounce on his shoulders, and all this bouncing gets him thinking about sex, and he gets a hard-on. After a while, he just can't take it any more, so he puts her down and starts fucking her. 
   
   Now, this old lady is really stupid, and she asks, "What are you doing to me?" The guy says, "You're getting too heavy to carry, so I'm carving off some of your flesh with my dagger here." After the guy comes, he puts the biddy back up on his shoulders and starts walking again. Pretty soon she nudges him and says, "Hey, if I'm still too heavy, you can put me down and carve me again now!"

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